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My Own Mind

My own mind – Uniform Choice

Wowee, an actual hardcore song. Anyone would think i had gone… soft, judging by the songs that have come up in recent weeks. I’m not over it yet. Hopefully i never will be, but, truthfully, i am now very wary of how being someone who loves this music paints me and expectations of me in the eyes of others. I have definitely (in my mind, to my own ends and desire) separated the wheat from the chaff of a lot of hardcore, knowing very well what i like and what still moves me. I guess this is growing up. That myopic, self-absorbed, protectionist, company line, samey, tough guy, guy hardcore is my chaff. Yet Uniform Choice get a pass from me. Me and my inconsistencies.

I remember once on ScreamingBloodyMess some custodian of hardcore regulation (i think it might have been Gabe) asked the board to list their five favourite NYHC bands, and me in my ignorance listed Uniform Choice among my five. They’re from California, you see? Oops. I was scoffed at, understandably. As reply and amends, i posted the “I’m sorry…” of this song. I think they got it.

But what exactly is this spate of apology in this song? Is it even sincere, or is it similar to every superficial apology that dribbles out of the mouths of those who have hurt or offended another party, with no empathy, no understanding of what they have done, no guilt, no fault, no lesson learned, no change. Just empty apology to set things right, to allay reproach you can’t believe you’re being confronted with, and to get people off of your back. Hardcore.

phase IV

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