Archive for the ‘songs i hate’ Category

Blurred Lines

Blurred lines – Robin Thicke

I’m late to the party on this but that’s because i only heard it for the first time last night. I’m not sure which of the two parties that seem to have developed around it i’m actually late to, but i’m leaning more on the outrage party because if i’m going to form any opinion of it, let it fall as far away from considering its musical merit as possible because lord it is such a boring song. And gross. A kneejerk revulsion led me to a search last night for commiserative internet opinion i found more than enough, written months ago and by more intelligent people than i, to make me not add to it. It’s gross, fantasy camp male power fun and i can’t believe the world, whether against or for its grossness, has offered any time to the greasy 36 year old wanting to live it out.

I just want to forget about it. Like i said i knew nothing of it until last night (though if i had paid attention i would have joined a few dots over the year and figured he was the guy also on stage during that Cyrus thing [and who escaped without a fraction of the censure]) and what a bliss that was. I know a lot of people can’t escape it and to simply be a productive, functioning social human being in this day puts you in the line of so much crap – crap one’s continuance in society demands if not an opinion of then some internalising, consumptive response to – but it’s a wonderful world away from all that. That’s one upside to being a shut in.

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Message In A Bottle

Message in a bottle – The Police

Or as they’re now known: Sting. The only good thing about the Police was Stewart Copeland. I think you can tell a lot about a person on whether they like the Police or are indifferent to/hate them. Well, not a lot, just that they might be deeply boring people. In their own time and now, with all the incredible music coming out of the UK in the late 70’s/early 80’s, and the level of access to that now, for someone with any investment in music to settle on this band – perhaps the whitest bread ever baked – tells me enough. People like all kinds of music i guess, and cool, hip school teachers need favourite bands too. But i do think people’s accord for the Police is something that probably parallels with their perceptions of the real police.

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Pick you up – Powderfinger

Because i’m super cool and fun to be around, i spent last night at home half-watching Rage. It’s celebrating 25 years on the air at the moment, dedicating every show to play year by year defining videos of its life as a music video show. Let me say there is some serious revisionism going on here. Last night was 1995/1996/1997, and i, nerd that i am, taped near every episode back then so i know what they were playing back then, and what they aired late night was not at all an entirely accurate representation of it.

They did play some videos shown back then ad nauseum – the Smashing Pumpkins, the Silverchairs, the Tools, the Foo Fighters, the Powderfingers – but among them, inserted with the same sense of celebration were videos they never celebrated. Sugar Cube, Triumph, Cross Bones Style – things i’ve come to learn about and love, but not through Rage ever airing their videos.

It was like they were through their means suppressing any hint that they were ever late to these parties. Not Rage as it was, but Rage as they wish it had been, years of education, trend-settling and scope-broadening after the fact. Maybe the programming was meant to reflect that: To simply play the best videos. But if it was just them playing what they know now to be the best videos of those years, why the heck did they play this song?

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Loco – Coal Chamber

With foreign parts of the world that leak into mine abuzz over last weekend’s Soundwave festival, i looked at the lineup and… it’s sure to have made those whose utopian world is one that never grew or sought beyond late 90’s metal very happy indeed. The lineup really is astonishing in the way the promoters have managed to time capsule that era, and to such a degree, resurrecting it for those who didn’t want it to end and whose dream for it to continue is imagined only and fulfilled wholly in festival form.

It’s like every early high school party i attended and had no fun at all over again. Limp Bizkit, Marilyn Manson, Slipknot, System of a Down, Hole, Coal Chamber. It goes on. Cro Mags?! Are these reformations, or have these bands kept going all these years to my blissful ignorance? I know this is the era of cash reunions but still it’s incredible. The amount of money involved in this… but then these bands’ fans have never been short on dolling out. It’s making a lot of people happy.

I remember Coal Chamber being especially lame and lower tier but i couldn’t send myself back to sitting in sheds or on the backseats of cars enough to remember any of their songs. I looked this up last night and oh yeah. It certainly was the style at the time. I’m so glad i wasn’t caught up in this – that it was just something imposed and endured, learned through absorption. It could have very nearly become my thing if i found enough support or enough of who i wanted to be in it. This song just doesn’t end, does it?

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Party Rock Anthem

Party rock anthem – LMFAO

Now i know who sings this song and who LMFAO are. I heard this song playing out of someone’s ute with the windows down yesterday and it happened upon me that, yes, this is what music the kids listen to sounds like today. A generational divide and i came to realise there i’m on that distant, departed shore. I thought this music only existed in commercials, never putting together that people are actively listening to it, that they front with it, and that i would hear it depressingly always if i were young and went young people places, did young people things. It makes sense. It was probably some graduating class’ farewell song.

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Father’s day – Weddings Parties Anything

I wish i could have broken up the Kpop with something better. The band who cause much short-lived excitement/long-lived disappointment when flicking through the “W” section in record stores, thinking i’ve stumbled upon something by another certain band whose name begins “Wedding”. Ugh. So many times.

I think my problem with this song and fathers in general stems from my own (in)experience. I’m sure it means a lot to many people, their lives drawn in its lyrics, and that is an important thing. There’s just something in me that is apprehensive to fathers and the entitlement and glory of life-creation they credit themselves with. My life is no one else’s.

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Hello – Potbelleez

Well hasn’t this been one crappy week. TV show themes, a song i didn’t want to deal with, and a day i almost gave up. And now a song i only know through its use as a station ID for the digital channel GO!. Well great. It’s nice channel 9 could find a cheap enough song featuring the lyric “GO!” to use constantly for station promos. Some entrepreneuring person should write a catchy, of-the-times song replete with “GO”s ready for when channel 9 decide to tweak their station’s image and need a new promo. Royalty cheque, ahoy.

When we actually get a signal, GO! is my source for Bewitched, Community and Seinfeld cropped to the wrong aspect ratio. Unfortunately those times we do get the channel it’s usually just in time for a Two and a Half Men or The Big Bang Theory marathon. Ugh. TV. I watch too much. It’s just not healthy.

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Hey, Soul Sister

Hey, soul sister- Train

You mean to tell me that this song is actually called Hey, Soul Sister? Jesus christ…

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Parlez-vous français? – Art vs. Science

Coming home from work and watching Rage before i went to bed last night caused this piece of shit song to worm it’s irritating way into my head and remain there until this morning. It is, in my opinion, the absolute worst song i’ve posted here. I’ll try not to get too worked up about it because i have a feeling any discerning, truly hip young person (i.e. those that give me such a sense of inferiority) has already worked out how lame it is and there may already exist a campaign to overlook it and whatever scene Art vs. Science fit themselves into. But for those three and half minutes last night with this song in my face with every its violation immediate to my living room, ooh i was going to explode. It’s easy to ignore otherwise. I just won’t listen to the radio nor put myself in the way of ever seeing them live.

It is a song that sounds instantly dated, formed out of a collective delusion of what works in dance music and how one should produce it. Fake French and all just a few inconsequential lines can connote, slide whistle effects, the instrumentation, misguided enthusiasm for the party. Ick. I guarantee much is made of their use of live instruments to play these songs live, that it gives them a legitimacy and presence someone with a set of turntables or a laptop lacks – that it makes it ok for some to like it because instruments equal artistry.

I know i’m not the target audience for this, and probably will never be found in its targeted place of listening/experiencing, with the appropriate consumption of alcohol and inclination to party to extract any benefit from it, but i like to think if i were i’d still have the wherewithal to realise i’m in the worst, most backward club in the world, bored, feet cemented in place by the very music supposed to free them, surrounded by a bunch of raise-dem-beers losers who “get” this shit.

stolen kisses

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