Archive for the ‘Rilo Kiley’ Category

Paint’s Peeling

Paint’s peeling – Rilo Kiley

Today’s stuttering, defensive justification on why i love Rilo Kiley so much comes in the form of… Well, there was this larger indie scene i was wholly ignorant to except in that it was what the cool livejournal keepers listened to back at the turn of the century. Just as there is this larger indie scene and key to coolness today that exists beyond me. Just as there always was, always will be. Modest Mouse, Death Cab For Cutie, Hot Hot Heat, Decemberists, etc. Those bands. Rilo Kiley came with that, but always seemed on a less celebrated, uncool peripheral (why i’m so apprehensive). Yet they are the only band of that that i got. Maybe i always wanted part of that scene, that echelon, and Rilo Kiley was as far as i could manage. I don’t know. Personal problems. I love this.

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The execution of all things – Rilo Kiley

The oldest, still wearable t-shirt i own is my Rilo Kiley shirt. Still without holes and intact despite a stretched neckline, it’s in such good condition because it was well made and because i’m so often not brave enough to wear it. My shameful love for this band is something i need to get over (the shame part, not the love). That they still give me so much, stir so much, and align perfectly with who and how i’d like to be is not something i should mute. Yet i can’t ever seem to bring it out. It is such an intensely personal love and any fear of stigma and reproach is probably entirely internal anyway. Others don’t care. They’ve their own lives, and i don’t figure in them as much as i think i do.

If i do become brave enough to wear it, though, i will slowly kill one of the best shirts i own. To have this die, any part of it – clothing, affect, love, anything – is for me a sad thing indeed. I think wearing the shirt out now is more likely to have me perceived as someone stuck in an embarrassingly outdated glory day, who hasn’t been invested in music past 2002. That’s not so far from the case.

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Does He Love You?

Does he love you? – Rilo Kiley

“All the immediate unknowns are better than knowing this tired and lonely fate.” I often wonder about classical musicians’ opinion of these rock bands who commission them to add that certain culture/sophistication/baroqueness/prettiness/grace/legitimacy/whatever to their otherwise typical pop songs, and the often very simple orchestrations they’re asked to play. There are some, like Graeme Downes, who bring them across to this world to play interesting pieces, but usually they are there for a basic, repeated melody and the sound their instruments can add to it.

If you’re a classical musician, you are mostly a gun for hire anyway so i’m sure professionalism conceals any boredom or condescension they might have for the job at hand. But with more and more bands looking to fill that elusive something with strings and horns, doing it in more and more predictable and tedious ways, something may give. There may soon be a rebellion.

I can’t deny its effect, though.

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With Arms Outstretched

With arms outstretched – Rilo Kiley

Curse not yet broken. I have never sung the sing-a-long of this song along with anyone. Surprise, surprise. I wonder what it would be like – to share this band and their effect with others. It scares me a little. Still, it has always seemed wrong that my love of Rilo Kiley is one held so personally and reclusively. It is mostly out of an irrational shame that it is, but it is also to do with the fact that i have never found anyone else who listens to them. Maybe i have. Maybe we’re all inhibited in the same shame spiral, we’ll never dare crawl our way out of it and admit the unadmittable, finding each other in the wreckage of felled walls. Arms outstretched.

We’ll start a club! Rilo Kiley Anonymous. Leave contact as a comment. We can talk about how our hearts jumped when we heard this song closing the Weeds pilot.

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Go Ahead

Go ahead – Rilo Kiley

There might exist a song that sounds exactly like this, an older song, and that might be the song i have in my head, but at least i know which girl with an acoustic guitar sings this one.

I confess: I got in to Rilo Kiley because i had a huge crush on Jenny Lewis. It had been a long, iterant crush, rising every time i would see her in one of her guest acting role. That the… cute girl from The Wizard and Foxfire had a band of some indie credibility was not something i could let slip by. Seeing the whole band on that episode of Once and Again and the was me finding out that this band existed, bringing this fantastic band into my life and some of its more crucial moments since.

I am not sure how much my crush facilitated me getting into Rilo Kiley. There was a hurdle and this was most definitely not the kind of music i was listening to at the time, so it no doubt helped. Crushes can take you all kinds of places and make you do all kinds of things. But with that towline now mostly severed i’m left with the band, these songs, things that mean a heck of a lot to me and a life i couldn’t imagine without them.

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The good that won’t come out – Rilo Kiley

I don’t care what anyone says: I love Rilo Kiley so much! Actually i care deeply what everyone says, but that’s not going to change anything, and i’ve come to a point of recognition of my sub-subordinate cultural and social standing that nothing i say, do or express fondness for is ever going to give me that too long desired ascension. Revelation that i love this band either further relegates me to the inferior, or is expected.

Rilo Kiley mean a lot to me. They are my late night, alone music. I didn’t plan for it, it just seemed to happen. No other band has made me feel as helpless or as helped at such desperate hours. Lonely, lonely. Just me, whatever mess i’ve left over from the day before, whatever mess i’ve there for me the day after, and that twilight where at once everything and nothing is all right, redeeming this life of all it lacks and every impossible distance with one band. This one. I feel good when i listen to them. I feel safe, nurtured, when i listen to them. I feel closer to who i want to be, to where i want to be, connected to nothing concrete but connected nonetheless, when i listen to them. Take that away from me.

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Science Vs. Romance

Science vs. Romance – Rilo Kiley

I don’t know if this is an appropriate song or not. It’s just the one that happened today. Rest in peace, Kevin Charles Johnston. 7/10/1928 – 8/11/2010.

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