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Monarch With Fool

Monarch with fool – Cornelius

On my first trip to Melbourne (in band-form) i brought along three mix CDs as solicited so we could have something to listen to as we drove. I am not willing to bare my taste in music at the best of times – to have all ears focused on the stupid songs i like is too much for me – and here i was in a car with four others who had been on trips/tours together countless (well i’m sure an exact number could be calculated) times, not only exposed each other to music but grown and shared through similar tastes, similar loves, and the odd terrible song one loved, with or without irony, and the others would tolerate, with or without complaint. And not one of them brought CDs of their own.

So yes, i am modest and withdrawing beyond any rationale and we were doing fine with Dennis’ and Alex’s ipods. I had heard songs i had never heard before, ones they new consummately, and the trip was going fine, with the occasional demand for me to get those CDs from out of my bag.

I was freaked out going on this tour. So many concerns regarding how i would meld with this group: would they like me, would they object to me taking up valuable space in Kerry’s mum’s car, would i somehow find charisma etc. To mark my space in this car, my presence on this tour and in this touring party, with music i chose (these were crazy CDs with funk, twee, ye-ye, and mid-90s songs) was too much. I cannot be something/someone to people. It happens all the time, and it resumes itself always. The whole tour was a consistent assuage of any present and recurring consternation through spending it with four amazing people, and everyone i met in Melbourne.

It was. By the time we made it to Victoria my fears were sufficiently allayed that i reached into my bag and pulled out the first CD, this song being track one. It didn’t help that Lawrence quipped that what he had heard of Cornelius he didn’t really like. CD inserted, song played. They got into it. Why shouldn’t have they. It’s a fantastic song. “This is mid-90s as fuck!” someone said. I forget who, probably Lawrence. And they let the CD play, through all its terrible selection and flow. You could tell they didn’t like it all, but who cares. This was the beginning of a sense of belonging, belonging somewhere i very much like.

I’ve still never knowingly heard that other Cornelius.

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